


invincible

by jilylicious



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Friendship, Marauders' Era, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Romantic Fluff, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-28
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-02 22:36:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8685940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jilylicious/pseuds/jilylicious
Summary: James Potter asking Lily Evans to move in with him





	1. irreversible

_Marauders Era, spring of 6th year_

James Potter liked the freedom his Invisibility Cloak gave him, sure the cloak was meant for more important things but after hours in Hogwarts were too appealing to pass on.

Sirius and Remus were on one of those days where they couldn’t keep their hands off of each other, _oh right the full moon’s next week,_ James smiled to himself. Peter was at the Astronomy Tower with the Huffflepuff girl, whose name James never seemed to remember.

He was walking around when he heard some sniffing coming from their Charms class room. James slowly opened the door and took the Invisibility Cloak off.

“Lumos” he whispered and his wand illuminated the room. He put his cloak on one of the desks and started looking around.

“Myrtle, is that you?” he asked to emptiness, he was still hearing the sniffs.

“Come on Myrtle, it’s me, James. You know you can talk to me.” said James with understanding in his voice.

“Leave, Potter.”

James heard that voice and he couldn’t move, he knew that voice, he _lived_ for that voice.

“Evans?” he said quietly.

“I said _leave_ Potter” continued Lily, her voice was shaky but sharp.

“I– Alright.” he answered but as he was making his way out he stopped on his track and turned around:

“No, fuck that Evans. I’m not leaving.” he shouted a little, he didn’t know why he did that.

“For fuck’s sake James, I don’t need anyone’s pity.” said Lily.

“This is not pitying, I don’t even know why you’re crying. This is being there for someone who’s obviously in a bad situation.” argued James. When there was no reply he decided to go next to her. 

“ _Please_ don’t hex me, I’m coming next to you” announced James.

He started making his way towards the place where Lily’s voice came from and he found her caved on a corner sitting on the ground with tears coming down her face. She still looked incredibly pretty, her eyes looked even greener if that was possible and the moonlight from the window next to her shone one her hair making it look like it was aflame. James pulled himself together and cleared his throat before he started to talk.

“I am not going to act like I know what’s going on Evans, but I can entertain you free of charge” said James with a smirk on his face.

“If you are going to invade my personal space the least you can do is stay quiet Potter, I am not in the mood.” retorted Lily. 

The smirk on James’ face went away, instead he frowned.

“You know what Lily? Drop the _I’m too strong for my own good_ act. You are _hurting_. Am I _that_ disgusting that you won’t even accept my help? What have I done to you to make you hate me so bad? I am trying woman!” spat James, he had enough.

Lily didn’t answer, she just patted the empty space across her for James to sit, James obeyed, he might have been angry but he wouldn’t miss a chance to sit with Lily Evans.

“It was a hard day and I’m sorry, I just don’t want to hear the same bloody lecture from you all over again.” said Lily, she had given up.

“It’s _Snivellus_ again, isn’t it?” asked James, his eyes narrowed.

“Don’t call him that” pleaded Lily. 

“You are still protecting him, incredible” said James with apparent disbelief in his voice.

“I just can’t take it anymore, he doesn’t even flinch when the others threaten me. This new movement against Muggle borns is scaring the living shit out of me Potter.” confessed Lily, she was looking down on her hands the whole time.

“We will protect you from whatever Lily.” James bit his lip before speaking again. “I– I will protect you from anything that wants hurt you.”  

“Very brave of you Potter,” said Lily smiling “but I don’t think they have very good views about your family either” 

James reached out the wipe her tears, she winced at first but then just let it be. Then Lily gave her back to the wall and James did the exact same thing, Lily’s head was on James’ shoulder, James felt like he was about to pass out, she smelled like flowers.

“You know Evans, most of us are scared. You don’t have to go through this alone. I know I am not one of your favourite people but you can talk to Remus. He’s a really good listener when he’s not snogging Sirius.” suggested James. He could feel her smiling even though he wasn’t looking at her.

“You are not that bad Potter, don’t worry.” replied Lily and a warmth spread through James.

“Hah, I never thought I’d see the day you _almost_ complimented me” said James sarcastically.

“Don’t push it. Now get up let’s go back to the common room before someone catches us.” proposed Lily. James got up and helped Lily up, the moment her hand touched his he felt like anything was possible. _Lily Evans doesn’t hate me._ It was like his heart was trying to get out of his chest.

“How do you get around castle without getting caught anyways?” demanded Lily.

“I have my ways Evans” said James grinning as he showed his Invisibility Cloak to Lily. “If you tell Minnie I will hunt you down” he added.

“I won’t don’t worry and, uh, thanks Potter.” said Lily.

“Don’t mention it.” replied James.

That was the day Lily realised James Potter wasn’t _that_ bad and the day James fell irreversibly in love with Lily.


	2. untouchable

  * Lily looked at the sun shining outside, it was October in their seventh year and she felt the warmth of it on her pale skin
  * there was a little breeze and she could smell the wet trees
  * she felt a small burn or her arm, it wasn’t _that_ hot 
  * it was someone’s touch, someone for so long she ignored with all her being
  * but can you ignore the sun when the skies are clear?
  * how can you run away from sun if there’s no place to hide?
  * so she became a hurricane
  * she destroyed everything related to the sun she even made sure the moon was no where to be found
  * but she ached for the sun and she _knew_ it was wrong
  * how could it be wrong if it felt _so_ good?
  * the sun let her down so many times before, or did it?
  * she just wanted a little taste, it wouldn’t hurt, would it?
  * _Icarus flew too close to the sun and look where it got him_ she reminded to herself
  * Lily felt the wax cage over her skin melt under James’ touch as their arms brushed in Great Hall
  * she couldn’t avoid the sun whatever she did
  * so she became a summer rain
  * no, she didn’t completely surrender, _Lily Evans does not surrender_
  * but she could feel the clouds she had around herself disappear every time James touched her
  * when they walked down the corridors and their shoulders brushed
  * when he reached to take her ink because Sirius had his
  * when he leaned over her to look at her Charms essay 
  * when late at night a little bit tipsy from the Firewhiskey, he played with her hair
  * Lily felt each strand of her dark red hair melt under his touch
  * She just wanted to burn, damn it
  * So for once _she touched him_ in a dark corner 
  * the warmth spread through her like electricity through water
  * she could feel the blood in her veins trying to get out, they wanted more
  * _she wanted more_
  * so one day she went for his lips knowing it will burn the worst
  * but she didn’t care, she waited for so long
  * hands in hair, back curved and on her toes, Lily Evans let her lips _burn_
  * it was like summer sun and it felt so good Lily felt like her heart was going to give up
  * and she forgot how to breathe properly, she could feel their chests meeting with irregular intervals
  * when she remembered to breathe, her lungs filled with him
  * he smelled like honey and cinnamon, all things sticky and sweet
  * _oh my god_ he smelled like Christmas morning
  * if it would feel like this all the time she wanted to burn to ashes
  * so she touched him _again and again and again_ until there wasn’t an inch of him she hadn’t discovered and there’s wasn’t an inch of her skin not burning amber
  * and _Merlin_ it felt good to burn




	3. unbelievable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter asking Lily Evans to move in with him

The war had taken it’s toll on everyone. Lily was falling apart, the girl James loved so much for being one of the strongest people he knew, was getting thinner and even her beautiful flame of hair didn’t burn like it used to. She was scared and James knew it, it wasn’t a secret that Lily and the Marauders were against Voldemort or whatever his name is, she was scared for herself and her parents, even her sister who hated Lily. James was scared, too but he wanted to take Lily’s fear, he wanted to make sure she’s okay, he would have taken it all in if it meant she would smile. _How did I fall so hard for a girl who hated me for so long?_ James didn’t know but as graduation came closer his ideas about what he wanted to do became clearer and clearer.

He wanted to be an Auror, he knew that since he was 7 years old. He wanted to be taught by Alastor Moody, he figured that out when he met Moody during one of the balls Potters held. He wanted to marry Evans but they were so young. _I want her around._ He wanted her around as much as he could. Sirius’ solution was simple they could get a flat close to Ministry and live together. _Easier said than done, Pads._ James was so scared to ask because he was sure Lily would say no, he wasn’t even sure if Lily loved him as much as he loved her. James would have pretty much given an arm to be with Lily forever, have beautiful children with his hair and her everything. James found himself startled by a soft voice calling his name. 

“James?” said Lily Evans with a worried look on her face.“Are you alright? You’ve been staring at that wall for 5 minutes now.”

“Oh, oh yeah sure I’m fine. I was– just thinking about some stuff” James’ hand shot up to his neck nervously. _Shit, Potter now she knows something is wrong._

“Do you maybe want to talk about it Jamie?” said Lily as she sit down on the arm of the chair James had been sitting for the past hour.

_Just take the shot Prongs, she said no to you like gazillion times before._

James shifted so he was face to face with Lily, _God her eyes are like emeralds, focus Potter._ , “Do you have any idea about life after Hogwarts Lils?” James literally blurted out so fast, Lily had a hard time understanding.

“I– There’s a war going on you are aware right Potter?” Lily’s eyes were looking right into his soul, James knew it.

“I know, I just, um, I just want to know where you’ll go when the school is done” James was looking down, he was scared to look at her because he knew she would see right through.

“I won’t go back to live with my parents if that’s why you are asking, I can’t risk it. I’ll probably move in a flat with one of the girls and–”

“I was wondering if you wanted to move in with me instead of the girls?” James was in shock but Lily was shocked even more. _She’s going to say no_

“I– What?” Lily’s voice was a little higher than usual.

“I want you to live with me after Hogwarts ends, I want to have you around Lily as much as I can and since you’re not going back and we’re a wee bit to young to get married I–” _Married Potter really? She’s going to freak out, I’m so done._

“You– you want to marry me?” Lily’s eyes were glistening with tears.

James took her hands into his “Of course I do, you’re the best thing that happened to me Evans, I want to marry you and have so much children we can have a Quidditch t–” James never finished that sentence because Lily launched herself on to him and started kissing him like she never did before, pausing every few seconds to say “Yes”.

James pulled himself back because neither his head or heart understood what just happened. _Did she just agree to marry me? Lily Evans said yeS TO ME BUT YES TO WHAT?_ “Lily, yes to what?” James asked a little too hopeful.

“Everything, yes to everything you just said” Lily was smiling like she did before the war started. “But like in near future not right now, we’ll move in but get married later and I need you to ask me formally–”

“Lils, are you rambling?” James was grinning.

“You are an idiot Potter but unfortunately I’m completely in love with you.”

“I love you, too Evans” _SHE SAID YES MERLIN’S BEARD SHE SAID YES_


	4. unimaginable

Lily was getting more nervous with every tick of the clock. It had been almost 4 hours since James left for an Order mission and it was supposed to be a simple one, the Order tried very hard to keep them away from danger zones because they were 18. 18 was such a young age to start fighting but both James and Lily decided they had to fight to have a better future together, _they wanted a future together._ Lily smiled to herself and checked the clock again, she gave it five more minutes. If James wasn’t back in five minutes she was going to go to the Order headquarters to learn where he is. 18 was such a young age to worry this much. 

Lily made her way to the kitchen to keep herself busy for a few minutes more, she was doing the dishes 2 hours ago but ever since she realised how long James had been gone, she had left them be. Just when she turned on the sink she heard a zap from the living room and a small voice say “Lils”.

“James!” shouted Lily and ran to the living room of their small flat. It was James alright,  gashes all over his face and he made a small pool off blood over his body.

“Are you splinched James talk to me?” said Lily as she ran over to him. “You are, you are splinched damn it James, I thought this was a simple mission!” complained Lily. She then saw that James was about to faint from the shock his body was going through.

“Don’t you dare close your eyes Potter, don’t you fucking dare, wait here while I get–” talked Lily with trembling hands but suddenly James held her from her wrist.

“Marry me, Evans” he mumbled.

“ _I’m sorry?_ ” asked Lily, she thought she must have heard it wrong.

“Marry.. me” repeated James, he was barely talking.

“You are about to die, let me heal you then we will talk” said Lily

“I won’t let you heal me before you answer” said James as he winced.

“This is not the time James, this is not the time for stupid games” shouted Lily, she was getting angry as the blood pool grew.

“Answer”

“Yes you fucking idiot, yes I’ll marry you!” answered Lily. “Now can I heal you?” demanded Lily.

“Yes, please” replied James with a grin on his face.

“ _Accio_ dittany” said Lily with her wand up and she put the essence all over James’ scars, as she mumled about how stupid James was and the Order was not doing their job properly, slowly but surely the scars healed themselves.

“That splinch is going to take a few weeks to heal, love” she explained as James looked at her with wondering eyes. He looked older than he was.

“Did you mean that, that _yes_ , did you mean it? Or– Or did you say it so you can heal me?” demanded James. “Tell me the truth, please.” he added, his hazel eyes shone differently.

“Yes, I meant it but you are a complete ass, Potter! Don’t do stuff like that when you are injured or even better, don’t go to missions like these!” protested Lily as she caressed James’ face slowly, he was smiling like a child, now he looked like he could be 18. “Don’t ever scare me like that, again” said Lily with tears in her eyes, she just now realised what happened, she couldn’t handle losing anyone, especially not James.

“We didn’t know Death Eaters were going to be there, we might have a mole in the Order, Lils. I swear we didn’t know. Sirius is no better than I am.” apologised James. “I know I may be stupidly brave but I have you now to come home to. I promised you I would always come back home to you, I would never risk that” he continued.

James was still lying on the living room carpet and Lily was sitting right beside him. They sat like that for hours until James felt like he could carry himself to the bed. It was not the best proposal Lily could think of but she didn’t care, if this wasn’t going to end well she would die as the wife of James Potter and if they survived this war, she would be the wife of James Potter which sounded better and better as she thought about it.


	5. inseparable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Potter & Lily Evans Potter's wedding

Lily Evans looked at herself in the mirror in front of her. She was only 18 and in a wedding dress about to say “I do” to James Potter. Her hair was braided into a basic crown and her dress was as simple as can be. She looked down at her right hand where James’ mother’s ring shone, _something old_. McGonagall brought her a golden necklace as a gift. Lily insisted she couldn’t accept, that it was an honour enough to have her give Lily away but woman wouldn’t take no as an answer, _something new_. Mary gave Lily her favourite earrings for the wedding,  _something borrowed_. She had blue flowers in her braid, _something blue_.

If she had to say “no” to one more person who asked her if she was pregnant, she was going to hex that unlucky person. Aside from that _small_ annoyance, her knees were shaking but not from cold feet, she was excited and scared. She was excited because having a family with Potter made so much sense to her but there was a war going on outside, she couldn’t see past that. All the precautions they had to take just for a wedding was alone nerve wrecking. She knew that all the bridesmaids and the Marauders had their wands hidden somewhere in their dress robes, she insisted she could have her wand as well but Dorcas looked at her like she would kill her, so she gave up.

She felt the heaviness of not having anyone from her blood family as a guest. She knew Petunia wouldn’t have bothered and her parents… Well her parents were gone, weren’t they? She hoped they watched her from up above. She slowly set down to the old blue armchair in her room, looking up so the tears wouldn’t ruin her make-up, Marlene would kill her. _Please don’t fall, please don’t fall._ She slowly closed her eyes to make sure the tears don’t leave her emerald eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself.

_Lily was dancing with James Potter in the Gryffindor common room. It was dark, the only light in the room came from the window and the fireplace. She looked at James, they were in their 7th year. Lily remembered that night vividly. She had drank a little too much Firewhiskey, she had decided to talk to Potter about her feelings which were very unexpected for Lily, because she would have expected to fall for anyone but Potter. So she was panicking a little. James twirled her around and she put her head on his chest, her head was spinning but she couldn’t tell if it was the Firewhiskey in her blood or the way James looked at her behind his glasses, like she was some kind of a miracle._

She calmed herself down by thinking about how James looked at her that night. She imagined it would get even better while she was walking down the aisle. Then the girls came in, there wasn’t much time left and they were just as excited as Lily was.

* * *

James Potter walked up and down in his room while waiting for the moment he would finally say “I do” to Lily Evans, the girl with the emerald eyes and aflame hair. He was way too much in love to get cold feet. He dreamt about this day since the day he met her. It took some hexes and insults but finally, he was with her. Lily Evans soon to be Lily Potter. All the boys were out dealing with some issues and his parents were greeting the guests, it was the first time he had sometime to himself. This was really happening, he was going to _marry_ Lily Evans. James stopped in front of the window looking at the garden where there was an arch made of white lilies, _I should thank Remus for that idea_ James said to himself. Then he shut his eyes as he felt a small breeze in his hair, which wasn’t tidy even on his wedding day.

_James was dancing with Lily in the Gryffindor common room, he wouldn’t have cared if the world outside was burning down to ashes, Lily’s head was on his chest, she smelled like flowers. Lily had a little bit too much Firewhiskey and was looking him right in the eyes, James felt her insides melt. She looked a little drowsy and she had a scared look on her face._

_“Oh no you don’t Evans” warned James.  
_

_“Sorry Potter, shouldn’t have given me that last–”  
_

_James summoned a bucket just in time because she never finished that sentence._

_“Lily? Are you alright? Do you want anything?” asked James while holding her hair back, it felt like silk, he never wanted to let go._

_Then she looked over her shoulder and as she wiped her mouth with a napkin she found, she smiled at James._

_“I am very sorry Potter, you didn’t have to see that.” apologised Lily as she turned a new shade of red. James felt like a train hit him and all the Firewhiskey suddenly went away, he was seeing clearer than before._

_“The times I cleaned up after Sirius, you are very cute compared to him, don’t worry” assured James, she was even a darker shade of red. Then James summoned some water and mints from his dorm and Lily looked a lot better than she did ten minutes ago._

_James sat down on the couch by the fire and he felt like something had changed. Lily came and sat down next to him, she still looked very apologetic._

_“Stop already, It’s not like you tried to killed me Evans, don’t worry so much. Do you want to lay down a little? I promise you will feel better.” suggested James and Lily put her head on his knees without a word.  
_

_James could tell there was something on her mind._

_“Come on Lily, tell me whatever you are thinking about. I can see that you are stressing over something.”  
_

_“No– I– I’m not stressing over anything. I just- I- James can I stay with you tonight?” asked Lily. James felt his fingers go numb, he never felt his heart beating like that before. He was looking at Lily’s face with utter disbelief which took Lily by surprise.  
_

_“Never mind, I- Forget I ever asked.” stuttered Lily, she looked embarrassed and disappointed.  
_

_“No,no! Not that I would mind but you should get some rest Lils. Merlin knows I would love that but– You should sleep properly tonight, Firewhiskey hangovers are not fun.” replied James.  
_

_Lily nodded and kept laying down until it was 4 am as James played with her hair and James suggested they went to bed, so she did. She gave a shy smile as she climbed the stairs to her dorm._

_When James reached his bed, he was dumbstruck. He always thought his love for Lily was unrequited. Was that really Lily talking just an hour ago or was it the Firewhiskey? James had contented himself with just being Lily’s friend for the past year and now this was happening? He had settled for friendship because he thought that was the only way to keep her green eyes in his sight. He was thinking way too fast and he knew he wouldn’t get a minute of sleep that night. What would tomorrow be like, would she remember? If Lily wasn’t drunk, he would have said yes in a heart beat, he would have stayed with her until they were grey and old but as always he did what he thought was the right thing to do. He smelled his sweatshirt, he smelled like flowers, he smelled like her. Then he fell asleep to her smell._

James jumped to the knock on the door.

“I’m sorry if I startled you. It’s about time Prongs” said Peter as he grinned widely and made his way out.

James walked out of the room and went slowly down stairs, Sirius was grinning so wide he couldn’t help but return it.

“Mate, I am the one who’s getting married what are you so happy about?” asked James.

“What? Can’t I be happy that my _brother_ is getting married?” demanded Sirius.

James felt like he was flying, they both called Euphemia “mum” but this was the first time Sirius referred to him as his brother. James never wanted to fill Regulus’ shoes but damn it felt good.

“Now let’s go Prongs, Lily-kins is about to come down, you can’t see her.” said Sirius and pulled James by his arm.

James was standing in front of the arch with Sirius by his side. Remus and Peter were just behind Sirius, he felt weightless. Then he heard the music and the rest was just complete euphoria. 

The moment Lily stepped out of the small house just across the arch, James felt his breath get stuck in his stomach. She was so beautiful, she had an embarrassed smile on her face but _Merlin_ , she was like an angel. 

James had always appreciated Lily’s dark red hair and emerald green eyes but this was different than before, what he was feeling as Lily made her way down the aisle with McGonagallby her side, James felt tears stinging his eyes. How did she even agree to be with him? She hated him four years ago, this must be a dream.

_James found himself standing in the middle of a hallway with a breakfast tray in his hands, he took a few steps forward to find a older but beautifully pregnant Lily in the bed, smiling at him. She was still breathtaking. James put the tray in front of Lily and gave her a kiss on the head. She smelled like flowers. Then he made his way downstairs again to have a boy and a girl jump on him. Kids, they had kids and there was another one on the way. The boy was older and had Lily’s eyes, the girl had her hair, they were perfect. James made his way to the door and waved the kids goodbye. They decided it was better for them to have Muggle education, too._

_Then he made his way upstairs again to lay next to Lily and listen to the small sounds that came from her huge belly. After Lily finished eating, they went downstairs and into the kitchen. James felt happy as she twirled Lily around, she was laughing like a child. She had her head on James’ chest, just like that day._

_She whispered “I love you” to James’ heart and he felt alive. She had no idea how much he loved her back, he couldn’t put it into words, so he contended himself with “I love you, too”. He would have given anything just so they would stay like that forever. James then checked his watch and realised he had to go to work._

_“Please stay today, say you are feeling ill or something” begged Lily as she was kissing her husband’s lips slowly at each word.  
_

_James hated saying no to her green eyes but he had to go. He wanted to stay with her until she had whites among those red hair and he had wrinkles around his eyes, he wanted to stay like that with her, as they were._

He came back to his senses as McGonagall lead Lily towards James, he reached out a hand to Lily, she was so warm. James saw his father give him a reassuring nod as he smiled holding Euphemia’s hand. Euphemia had her napkin ready, she was already on the verge of crying. James kissed Lily on the cheek and now they were face to face. Lily’s eyes were shining with tears, she was as happy as James was. She turned around and gave her bouquet to Marlene who was smiling widely, she turned back to James and looked him right in the eyes, James forgot there were other people around them. The only thing that mattered was her. 

They got through the necessities, _we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two souls_ , pretty fast or so it felt like, it was time for their vows. James had spent so much time thinking on it, and he looked Lily in the eyes and took a deep breath and took Lily’s warm hands in his cold ones.

_I won’t lie I have dreamt about this for many times before, standing in front of Lily Evans in a white dress as beautiful as ever but I always dreamt about it, it never crossed my mind that it would one day come true for obvious reasons. I know I annoyed you more than enough for a lifetime Evans but I want to keep annoying you until the world ends. I want to keep looking into your green eyes and see what I am seeing right now until my lungs give out. I want to be your knight in a shining armour and your shoulder to cry on, I want to grow old with you but also stay kids forever at the same time. I want to do the impossible with you, I want to live forever if you are by my side._

_I will do anything to protect you and I promise to be there for you when things get hard. I know things aren’t as good as you want them to be Lils but I am going to find ways to make sure you are as happy as you are right now. I assure you, we will make your parents proud. Also Mr. and Mrs. Evans I promise you I will take care of your daughter to the best of my capabilities and I promise I will try and love her as much as you did._

_Lily Evans, I am glad I became a worthy man for you because I can’t imagine anyone else standing in front of me today. I am glad you accepted a mere human like me to be your husband. No matter what other people tell you, to me you are perfect. I love you to the moon and back and I will never let you go._

Lily was in tears long before James finished but James didn’t let go of her hands until he was done, then slowly he reached to wipe away the tears from her cheeks. Lily mouthed an “I love you” as he did that. James could see Marlene looking up to make sure no one saw her cry.

* * *

It was now Lily’s turn to take deep breaths. She looked nervous. Remus winked at her and she tried to focus only on James and shut everyone else out.

_Firstly I want everyone to know that, I hated James the moment I laid my eyes on him, I know that’s not something one would say at her wedding but believe me it’s very important that long before we were together, I hexed him every chance I got._

_You never gave up on me Jamie, it was tiring I will admit that. Even though you knew I would never be nice to you, you still stood up for me. You and that pure gold heart of yours were a part of me although I didn’t want it to be. I am glad we both changed, I am glad I was around to see you grow up to be an incredible person and beyond all I am glad you didn’t give up._

_I admire how you are always trying to make sure I’m happy and how you always put me first. I would have never gotten through my parents’ death if it wasn’t for you. I wouldn’t have been standing here if you didn’t stay up with the for three days straight making sure I ate or I wasn’t feeling alone. I fell in even more love with you because you were there when I needed you the most, when most people thought we were too young to get married I knew there was no point in waiting because I knew that I could never love someone else like I love you._

_We are unstoppable and inevitable James Potter, don’t you forget that._

_I promise I will be there for you whenever you need me, I promise I will be everything you need me to be and more. I will be your best friend, your lover, your wife. I promise I won’t try to fix your hair because I adore the way it is free like you are. I promise I will keep stealing your sweatshirts because you smell like home. I promise I will never stop looking at you because your eyes are my favourite colour. I promise I will put up with Sirius, Remus and Peter because I know they make you who you are and who you are is flawless. I promise I will never let you go because you are all I’ve ever wanted. I love you more than I can put into words and I am proud to be the person standing here in front of you._

James’ eyes were looking at the Lily like he did after Lily first kissed him, she knew exactly what he was feeling, she knew him like the back of her hand. 

* * *

“Do you, James Fleamont Potter, take Lily Evans to be your lawfully wedded wife?” asked the officiant.

“I do.” answered James. He heard few whistles.

Once they settled the officiant turned to Lily. “Do you, Lily Evans, take James Fleamont Potter to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do” replied Lily while looking into James’ eyes. 

“Very well then, I declare you bonded for life, you may kiss the bride”

James was barely holding himself as the got the permission to kiss Lily. He hold her from her back and twirled her around while kissing her. The guests broke into an applause and Sirius was jumping up and down while whistling. When James opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was his mother and McGonagall crying and holding each others hands. It was real, he really was married to Lily Evans, no, _Potter_. Now, she was a Potter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my absolute favourite writings. It is inspired by Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur.


	6. impossible

Lily threw herself out of the bed with a rush and went straight to the toilet, the nausea she had been ignoring for days finally decided to make sure she knew it was there and that it was not going to go down without a fight. Thank Merlin, James had to leave early for his Auror training because this was _not_ pretty. _What a way to wake up,_ said Lily to herself. While she was thinking about the reasons about this mess while resting her head on the toilet seat, she felt panic take over mind.

She had missed a period and blamed it on the stress, she was fighting a war for God’s sake, it wasn’t stupid stress like _I have so much to do_ , it was the fear of losing her friends like she had lost Marlene. After the news of Marlene’s murder, Lily had became even more paranoid and stressed out. That was the reason she missed a period, _what else could it be?_

It was impossible for her to be pregnant all the protection and it wasn’t regular _Muggle_ protection either, it was just _impossible_. Lily involuntarily placed her right hand on her stomach and decided it was better if she just made sure that there wasn’t a little Potter in her belly. Both James and her wanted children, loads of them, but not in the middle of a war, they would have time after this battle was done.

So Lily made her way out to get a pregnancy test, she was going to do this _the Muggle way._

* * *

Lily stared at the stick for longer than humanly possible. _No, just no, I must have read it wrong. No way in fucking hell I am pregnant._ Lily felt the blood in his veins stop flowing. She passed in front of the mirror in their bedroom and stood in front of it for a good 20 minutes, her belly seemed normal. She looked at herself from each angle, even tried to see her behind but she didn’t feel like there was any difference. She didn’t know the first thing about being a parent, what was going to happen? How long she had been pregnant? Lily liked having plans _and_ following them! This was.. well unexpected and completely unplanned. What was James going to say? He was still a child after all with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Lily sat on the couch in their living room and stared at the door until James came, leaving the same spot just to go to the toilet or maybe get something warm to drink. She felt her hands go cold with anxiety of how James would react. She was pretty sure James was going to freak out but the aftermath was more important than his first reaction, Lily played out every single possibility in her mind. Her neck was aching from staring at the door when she heard the door click open.

“Love, I’m ho– Oh you’re here” said James with a smile and slowly kissed Lily on the lips. “How are you on this lovely December day?” he asked as he ruffled the snow away from his messy black hair.

“Jamie, come here” instructed Lily, patting the place next to her on the sofa.

“Everyone’s alright, right? This is not some bad new announcement _sit down_?”

“No, no, not at all. I just have something to talk to you about but I need you sitting down if that’s alright?” replied Lily trying to keep her voice as calm as she can. 

“Okay” said James reluctantly, his eyes had a glimpse of fear in them probably thinking about how he forced Lily to sit down before telling her Remus was badly injured a few weeks ago. 

“I have no idea how to put these in words so please don’t interrupt me” started Lily, her hands were in her lap and she was avoiding looking James in the eyes, so she kept playing with the black nail polish on her fingers that Sirius put on a few days ago. “I know we have talked about this before and our ideas were the same, we wanted to wait until after the war to have kids–”

“You want _a child_? But Lils we are–”

“I said don’t interrupt me, James” shot back Lily raising her head to meet James’ eyes and looking away instantly, it was hard enough without him interrupting. “I know we are in the middle of the war but this is out of my control Jamie, I don’t want you to freak out even though I will but please know that I am as shocked as you are and I would rather not go through this alone”

“You are _pregnant_ ” said James which should have been in a question format in Lily’s opinion because she hadn’t said the exact word but he knew, he knew her so well.

“I–” Lily took a deep breath. “Yes, I am”

“But that’s _impossible_ ”

“Well, turns out it isn’t” said Lily and she felt fear climb into her mouth from the pit of her stomach, he didn’t want this and he had every right to. Lily started contemplating how she would take care of this baby on her own since James thought the war was more important than the little soul in Lily. She had became pessimistic after she graduated from Hogwarts and found herself in a meaningless war. She was expecting James to freak out, even disappear but the boy didn’t even move an inch. 

Lily lifted her gaze from her lap to James who was staring at her belly while messing his hair even more. His hands were fidgeting like he wanted to do something but he was afraid to do it.

“You want to touch my belly don’t you?” said Lily with a smile on her face and relief apparent in her trembling voice, James nodded in response, he hadn’t taken his eyes off of Lily’s belly. “Go ahead”

James slowly placed his warm hands over Lily’s belly, his thumbs slowly rubbing the texture of Lily’s t-shirt and the rest holding her waist from the sides.

“So you are saying.. there’s a– a little _fawn_ in there?” asked James motioning to her belly with his head, his eyes shone like he had found everything he as looking for. 

“Merlin! The baby’s not even born yet and you are making stag puns” scolded Lily but she couldn’t hide the amusement in her voice. 

“I need to tell Sirius!” jumped James as he shuffled through his pockets and brought out the piece of mirror he used to communicate with Sirius. 

“Oi, Padfoot!” No reply.

“Sirius!” 

“SIRIUS ORION BLACK!” yelled James making Lily jump a little. “Sorry love” he whispered looking at her belly guiltily, he probably thought he had hurt the baby.

“Alright, alright I’m here. What the hell is going on?” said Sirius from the other side of the mirror.

“You, Moony and Wormy. Our flat, _now_ ” ordered James and it took them less than 2 minutes to apparate into their living room and before they got their senses back James yelled “LILY IS PREGNANT!”

“You are fucking with us, right?” said Peter, he had a broad smile but the look on Lily’s face made it clear that this wasn’t a prank.

“If this is a collective prank, I’ll murder both of you because it’s not funny” added Remus, he was staring from Lily to James and back to Lily, his face was impossible to read.

Sirius, on the other hand, was just staring. “There’s– there’s a little _fawn_ on the way?!” he said, raising his voice with every word he said, he then ran to Lily’s side and kissed her on the forehead, he was literally dancing around the house.

“Is the baby from him?” teased James as he watched his brother jump and laugh.

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s yours” said Lily, she was staring at Remus as he sulked. Peter was still trying to understand what was going on but Remus was obviously troubled by something so Lily followed him into the kitchen.

“What’s wrong Remus?” demanded Lily, she didn’t want to sound so authoritative but she wanted to know what was wrong.

“How can you be happy that you are going to have a children in the _midst of a war_? Aren’t you afraid at all?”

“I am scared shitless but it happened and there’s nothing I can do about it, so I’m going to cherish it as much as I can, as should you Re” explained Lily. She was so afraid, she felt like her heart would stop but the more she thought about it the more she felt happier that there was a reason for them to hold on. 

“But what if something happens to–”

“No, I refuse to think about it like that. I refuse to think anything will happen to any of us and if it does we are a family and I _know_ you’ll take care of him”

“Him?”

“I don’t know why I said that, please don’t tell those two idiots I said that” begged Lily with a smile because she knew they would probably make a big deal out of it, Remus nodded back he was holding a steaming hot cup of tea in his hands.

“Do you promise to look after him if something were to happen to us, Remus?” asked Lily with tears in her eyes, this was war after all. Out of all the scenarios she thought about, she never imagined the one where she would die. 

“I swear on my, _no wait_ , on Sirius’ life to protect little Potter at all costs whether you are here or not. We both know I love him more than I love myself” vowed Remus as he wiped away a tear from Lily’s cheeks. 

“They are fighting over the name of the baby, Sirius wants to name the baby  _Elvendork_ ” chimed in Peter as he was laughing.

“It’s _unisex_ ” shouted Sirius in defense. 

“Over my dead body, Black” said Lily with a smirk.


	7. incomparable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The POV changes like there’s no tomorrow, I’m sorry for that. Every time there’s a break that means the POV has changed.

James was away on a mission and this time it was Sirius’ turn to watch over Lily. Her belly was so big that she could barely walk. She was laying down on the sofa, her feet on Sirius’ leg who was reading _What to Expect When You Are Expecting_ with so much attention, Lily giggled.

“Evans can you fetch me some water from the kitchen?” said Sirius without even lifting his gaze from the book.

“Do you see my belly Black? I’m _pregnant_. Got get your own fucking WAT-AARGH!” yelled Lily suddenly.

“Okay, _alright_ , I’m getting it myself you don’t have to scream!” protested Sirius as he shoved Lily’s legs to the side.

“My water just broke” said Lily, her eyes wide, she could feel the pain very clearly.

“What the fuck does _that_ mean?”

“I’m giving birth you idiot. _Operation fawn_ or whatever the hell you call it with James these days” shouted Lily to a very panic stricken Sirius Black.

“Okay we’ll be in St. Mungo’s in a minute” blabbered Sirius as he ran to the bedroom to get Lily’s bag.

“Oh no, no, no I’m not doing this without James. He’s gonna have to wait until James comes back,” announced Lily half screaming half talking.

“Shut up and hold my hand Lils”

“We are _not_ apparating Black. Do you want me to pop him out as we apparate, don’t be ridiculous. We are taking a cab.” said Lily as she got up slowly. “Now GO AND GET ME A CAB”

With that Sirius threw himself out the door and luckily he found a cab within minutes and he came back to get Lily and he carefully escorted her to the cab.

When Lily told the cab driver the place they wanted to go cab driver gave them a weird look.

“Don’t you think a hospital would be more appropriate, Miss?”

“ _Just drive_ ” said Lily through her teeth as calmly as she can.

When they arrived to the abandoned building that led to St. Mungos, the cab driver had a questioning look on his face. Lily paid the man and they made their way towards the building where a woman asked the purpose of their visit and Lily shouted “ _Well_ there’s a baby about to come out of me. Open the fucking gateway” and the passage was opened in mere seconds. 

Lily high on hormones was a force to be reckoned with. She was taken into a room and she was laying down taking deep breaths, almost crushing Sirius’ bones.

“Sirius, I’m not doing this unless James is here. I’ll keep the baby in if it comes down to it, floo him, talk through that damned mirror but _get him here_ ,” ordered Lily and Sirius made his way outside.

* * *

Sirius went to the Floo service first he had a ver important call to make. He threw the powder into the fireplace and said _Minerva McGonagall’s Office_. 

“Minnie?” he queried.

“What in the _world_?” replied Minerva as she jumped.

“Sorry to scare you Professor but Lily is giving birth and I am freaking out because no one’s here–”

“Give me a minute and I’ll be there Mr. Black.”

“Thanks, Minnie” he said with a smile and backed out of the fireplace.

* * *

When Minerva McGonagall walked through the door of her room Lily started crying because if she needed someone that was Minerva, only person close to a mother for her.

“I’m here Lily and I will stay here with you, alright?” said Minerva softly as she pushed her hair back from her wet forehead. Lily nodded back as she wiped her tears away.

“Sirius, where’s Mr. Potter?” asked Minerva, she was caressing Lily’s hand as she did.

“He’s on an Order mission with Moody” answered Sirius after he bit his lip.

“Go get him, I’ve alerted Mr. Lupin and he will get Mr. Pettigrew. Now go” she ordered and Sirius ran out of the room and shuffled through his very tight pants’ pocket to get the mirror without bleeding.

“Prongs?” he said calmly, hoping that he wasn’t in the middle of a duel but he wasn’t there.

“Jamie?” it was no use, he wouldn’t hear. 

“JAMES!” he shouted, getting disapproving looks from a few Healers. “Sorry,” he muttered in response.

“What the hell Pads? I’m in the middle of a duel” replied James, the mirror was still in his pocket.

“Oh shit. _Fuck_. Um, yeah, so.. Lily’s in labor” said Sirius, half yelling. There was no easy way to break the news.

“She’s wha–”

“ _STUPEFY_ ”

Sirius heard James’ body hit the floor, the boy was unmistakably hit by a Stunning Curse. Sirius starting walking up and down the aisle, there was no way of knowing where he was.

* * *

James had his wand at the ready, _any moment now_. 

“Come out, come out where ever you are Mulcy” he challenged.

“ _Levicorp_ –”

“ _Protego_ , fuck you Mulciber, you have to do better than that!” bellowed James with a grin.

Moody was on his right and he could see Gideon Prewett dealing with two Death Eaters at the same time. That’s when he heard a faint voice say “James!” 

“What the hell Pads? I’m in the middle of a duel” he shouted to the mirror in his back pocket, unsure if he could hear. He sent a hex towards Avery which found it’s aim perfectly and send the masked Death Eater flying back.

““Oh shit. _Fuck_.” muttered Sirius. James started feeling like something was wrong. “Um, yeah, so Lily’s in labor” announced Sirius and James let his wand down in shock.

“She’s wha–”

“Potter!” yelled Moody but it was too late.

“ _STUPEFY_ ” screeched Mulciber and James felt his feet leave the floor.

 

When he opened his eyes he was looking at Sirius.

“I’m so sorry, mate. I– I didn’t mean–”

“Where’s she?” demanded James, trying to get out of the bed he was in.

“She’s on the other side of the corridor with Minnie, Remus and Petey” said Sirius. “But you can’t go there Jamie, you have scars all over you, you should stay in bed”

“Ask me if I give a fuck, Pads” hissed James and he winced when he landed on his two feet.

“Moody’s gonna _murder_ _me_ ”

James could hear Lily yelling to the others in the room with her, he pitied them.

“I am not doing this until he gets here. DO YOU _FUCKING_ UNDERSTAND ME REMUS? I’M NOT DOING THIS WITHOUT JAMES”

James was going to get into that room and hold his wife’s hand if it was the last thing he did. He could feel blood oozing from his eyebrow and his head was spinning like he had a little bit too much Firewhiskey but he didn’t care one bit. When he reached the door, he stopped to catch his breath and met Lily’s eyes with a smile.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world Evans” he said, he could see Lily’s eyes slowly filling with tears.

“James? What– no” she whispered as a tear made it’s way down slowly.

“You should see the other guy” teased James and made his way next to his wife to hold her hand, he realised his hands were bloody he wiped most of it on his pants. He kissed her knuckles as she squeezed hard.

“I know, love, I know. I’m here now. _We got this,”_ James looked up at Minerva’s worried face, she was holding Lily’s other hand.

“You can tell that bloody nurse I’m ready now, Petey” said Lily impatiently and Sirius went and fetched the nurse so fast, everyone just gaped at him.

“I’m trying to make up for the mess I caused just roll with it” Sirius mumbled as he looked at James guiltily.

James felt a little dizzy, whatever happened after that Stunning spell wasn’t a good thing and he could tell.

“Alright now, this is gonna be easier than Muggle way I can promise you that but  Lily you are gonna have to push nevertheless and _push hard_ ,”

So Lily pushed and she pushed as she squeezed Minerva and James’ hands as if she wanted to break them. It took her 20 minutes to finally give the last push and the moment James heard the cry of his baby, he let himself go because there was no way he could hold on any longer. The last thing he saw was the jet black hair on the new born.

* * *

“James! What the hell is wrong with him?” shouted Lily, she forgot she just gave birth as the tall man next to her collapsed to the floor, letting her hand go softly.

“Petey, get the Prewetts we need to carry him out” ordered Sirius and Peter was back with the twins in no time to get James to another room.

Lily wanted to go with them, she was struggling so hard to get out of the bed but the Healers held her down and before she knew it she was drifting away and she couldn’t struggle anymore.

“Jamie” she whispered before she went into a deep sleep.

* * *

“Prongs?”

James opened his eyes with panic, he felt the blood slow down in his veins. this time it was Peter who was sitting next to him.

“Lils! Where’s she? Is she alright? Are they–”

“Calm down, Mr. Potter. Everyone is fine. They had to give something to Lily to calm her down but _everyone is fine_ ,” explained Minerva as he pushed the messy haired boy from his chest so he wouldn’t get up. 

“Ma’am with all due respect, if you keep pushing me down I _will_ hex you,” said James sternly and the witch removed her hands from his chest.

He got up slowly, he felt so much better than he did before. He slowly got out of the room an saw Remus standing in the hallway.

“Where’s–”

“She’s in there having a full on breakdown about you, be careful” warned Remus.

James opened the door slowly and motioned Sirius to get out. Lily stopped crying the moment she saw James and she scooted a little to the right so James could sit comfortably.

“I’m sorry Lils” said James. “I’m sorry for scaring you like that but I had to be here, there was no time–”

“Stop it, Potter. You scared the living hell out of me but it wasn’t your fault” interrupted Lily, smiling through her tears. “You’re here and you are alive, that’s all that matters”

Lily flung her arms over his husband’s shoulders and James pulled her in a tight hug before both of them winced out of soreness.

“We should probably see our baby boy, shouldn’t we?” suggested Lily, her green eyes shining like emeralds.

“A boy?”

“Yes” replied Lily with a grin. “Sirius lost his mind a little when he found out. I was crying but I could hear his screams”

“Fucking _idiot_ ” said James as he proceeded to open to door and let the others in.

There he was, in a small bed. He had jet black hair like James and he could swear it was already messed up.

“He is _beautiful_ ” muttered James as the Healer gave his _son_ to him. The other Marauders and Minerva didn’t speak. James could feel his eyes burning. _Oh no, no, no James Potter did not cry._ He cradled the baby as carefully as he could, afraid that he might break something and gave him to Lily who was already crying just staring at her husband and her son.

* * *

When Lily held her son for the first time, she felt her body dedicating itself to the small sleeping beauty in her arms. James was right, he was beautiful and he looked so peaceful. She slowly pulled the yellow towel wrapped around his small body to see his face completely. He was pure magic. All those things they taught in Hogwarts was nothing compared to this.

“So what are you gonna call him?” said Sirius impatiently, Remus nudged him in the ribs and Minerva shook her head in disbelief.

“Jamie?” said Lily with a smile as she looked up at him.

“Harry, we’ll call him _Harry_. We had talked about it a long time ago” replied James. “ _Harry James Potter_ ”


	8. Halloween 1981

James Potter suddenly found himself somewhere he didn’t know. He was sure there was green light and a man with a snake-like face in front of him a second ago. There were people around him, who didn’t even look his way. Then it dawned on him: _Lily_. He had failed the love of his life and his son. He couldn’t stop _death_. Death. He was dead even though he had so much to live for but it was necessary. _Maybe I bought enough time for them to apparate_ , they were all that mattered. Black messy haired and green eyed boy and his mother, they deserved what James selflessly sacrificed. He wanted to live but he would rather die if it meant saving them, four identical green eyes meant so much more than his hazel ones. 

James wanted to know what was going on, whether they made it out or not. _Lily and Harry_ , that was all he could think about. Before he knew it he was looking at the place he once called home. It hadn’t been a minute since his body fell on the floor, Death was making his way to the red haired girl and the small baby in her arms. _They don’t deserve this_.

 _He was betrayed by someone he trusted._ He trusted a lot, Sirius always warned him about it. _Sirius_. They never told anyone they changed the Secret Keeper. _Moony, please believe him_.

Death was close now, he blasted the door, his wand was inches away from Lily Evans’ heart, a heart so pure James never felt like he deserved it. She was putting herself between Harry and Death, he told her to move, she didn’t. You didn’t have the option of disagreeing with Death. She was so brave, _she was love_. James knew they would be together again. Four short years they had together, it wasn’t enough and this wasn’t fair.

_Betrayed by the person he thought he saved._

James shut his eyes, he shut them so hard his face shrivelled. He didn’t want to see it, he didn’t want to see life leave Lily’s eyes, the eyes he loved so much, the eyes that had the most beautiful shine to them when she smiled. _Her smile_. The way she smiled when James kissed her, he felt her smile from her lips even though his eyes were closed. James felt himself a little better, he didn’t dare open his eyes. A soft voice called his name, his favourite, but he knew she was crying. 

Death had his wand directed at the head of the small boy. If they had him too, there would be no reason the stay here. Potters, there and gone in a heartbeat, just because James trusted the wrong person. _This is all my fault_.

Lily was barely standing, holding onto James. James wanted to close his eyes again but Lily didn’t, he had to be with her. He didn’t want to let her down again _, she deserves so much more_. His heart, his head, his body, everything hurt so bad. 

_They could have gotten through this, there was a way, there always was a way. He just couldn’t find it._

James saw the green light leave the tip of the wand. It was a miracle. He saw Death collapse under his own weight, a miracle so strong it blew half of their home up. Harry was alright. Lily was hanging on his shirt, she was looking at their son, a lightning scar on his head and tears flowing down his cheeks. _He is alive_. He didn’t understand how it happened, he didn’t care.

James drowned in his guilt avoiding Lily’s eyes, he wanted to hug her tell her he was sorry but he had a knot in his stomach. He knew he was going to see disappointment in her eyes. Instead he saw love, because that’s what Lily Evans felt in her veins. Love and gratitude flowing out of every inch of her body. James had never loved her more.

James Potter and Lily Evans kept living through Harry’s messy black hair, green eyes, heart of gold and trust. They were everywhere, Harry just didn’t know it.

* * *

“Lily, take Harry and go! It’s him! Go! Run! I’ll hold him off!”

_Why Peter?_

Lily Evans felt the world around her shake. _This isn’t happening._ Her knees were trembling like she was a tiny tree in the middle of a hurricane. She knew she had to go get Harry but there was no time to get to her wand and she wanted to stay with James. _He’s going to die._ She found the strength in her to go up the stairs to go to the yellow room they painted with James.

_Why, Petey?_

The small toy above the little boys bed was turning and his green eyes were curiously looking at Lily, he was smiling not knowing what was coming for him. Lily reminisced how she hugged Peter when he bought that toy for Harry. I trusted you Peter,  _I thought you loved us._ Lily never felt desperation so strongly before.  _You are so loved Harry, so loved._ Just as she was comforting the little boy, she heard James fell.  _James Potter can’t be dead, he can’t_. The boy with the most mischievous smile, the warmest eyes and the biggest heart, he can’t be dead. She heard slow but grounded foot steps on the stairs. _James?_ Soon they were going to meet again, she knew it but it wasn’t this soon. She would have given everything for one last look into the hazel eyes of the tall messy haired boy. _I wish we had more time Jamie, I wish I wasn’t so stubborn._ She smiled thinking back to the time she knew she was in love with him, she denied it so many times. They had so much more to do, they had so many dreams together, not anymore.

Lily Evans never gave up without a fight, when she heard the door blow up her first instinct was to protect the little boy in the crib, she didn’t know that would be last hug she ever gave to him. _Harry._ What was the point of protecting him from a blasting door if they were going to be dead in minutes. She could hear Harry holding the sides of his crib to stand up. Death had his wand pointed to her chest, if she moved, he would die. Her pulse was so fast she felt like there was a war in her veins. She didn’t want to cry because she wanted to be strong for James and Harry but it was so hard.

> _“Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!”_

She knew it was no good arguing with Death but Lily Evans would hold him as much as she can.

> _“Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside now.”_

Why was death giving her a chance? Not that it mattered.

> _“Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead—”_

_I am ready to die for Harry._ James gave his life without a second thought, she was ready to die as her husband did.

> _“This is my last warning—”_

Harry was crying, Lily wanted to turn and hug him tell him everything’s going to be alright.

> _“Not Harry! Please … have mercy… have mercy… . Not Harry! Not Harry! Please—I’ll do anything—”_

Death never had mercy, they were empty words which bought his son a few more minutes to breathe, soon he wouldn’t. _I’ll see you soon, Harry. I’m sorry love._

> _“Stand aside. Stand aside, girl!”_

Lily Evans didn’t move an inch, she felt the curse hit her right in the heart but she didn’t feel the life leave her.

She opened her eyes in a different place, looking up at the boy she loved so much. _James?_  It was so hard to talk while crying. James didn’t meet Lily’s eyes, he just let her hold onto him because it was so hard to stand on her own. She was going to watch her baby die. They went through so many things but this was unbearable, she wanted to turn away but James didn’t, she had to be there for him.

The green light that took their life, didn’t kill Harry, just a scar on his forehead. Half of the house fell apart when the curse rebounded from the small black haired boy, who somehow survived. _He’s alive._ Lily felt life leave her heart. She didn’t know it then but her heart saved her boy, her life was her son’s now.

James still wasn’t looking at her, was he mad because she didn’t stay with him? Lily Evans knew James Potter like the back of her hand, she knew he wouldn’t be mad at something like this. It was guilt. _I know you too well Jamie._ The boy who was still a child inside sacrificed his life and was feeling guilty because whatever reason. _He shouldn’t feel guilty._ His hazel eyes were full of worry and guilt when they met her green ones. James Potter who Lily Evans hated for years was breaking down in front of her because of something he didn’t do. That was how James Potter loved: loyally and completely. Lily had never loved him more.

Lily Evans and James Potter kept living through Harry’s messy black hair, green eyes, heart of gold and trust. They were everywhere, Harry just didn’t know it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this for Jilytober 2016 and I am very sorry about it.


	9. irreplacable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baby Harry gives James and Lily some trouble

It was a late April night and James Potter, with the heaviness that the dinner his lovely wife made for them gave him, sat down on the couch and started reading _Transfiguration Weekly_ from where he left off yesterday. There wasn’t much to read since there was a bloody war going on but still James appreciated the distraction. 

Somehow Lily had managed to put their bundle of joy to his crib without a fight which happened so rarely both of them found it hard to believe and were on the edge expecting Harry to scream his lungs out any minute during their dinner. James loved his son to bits but sometimes Harry was a right pain in their arses. 

Lily flopped down next to his husband and didn’t ask for a permission whatsoever as she climbed on his lap, James, of course, wasn’t complaining, they hadn’t been alone in a long time. He quickly put his magazine to the table to his left and grabbed Lily’s waist as the red haired her made herself comfortable.

“I can’t believe we are alone,” she whispered as she placed a soft but hungry kiss on James’ lips and he remembered how much he missed the taste of her. Having a baby was one thing, having Harry was whole other story. James didn’t know how he expected his son to be this put together, calm baby like Frank and Alice’s boy Neville was. Sometimes he just wanted to give Alice Harry and run away with Neville to have a silent night. This wasn’t the time to think about this so with one swift move Lily was lying on the couch slightly out of breath looking into his eyes with apparent desire in her green eyes. It had been too long for both of them.

It was hard to raise a kid in the midst of a war and they were both scared and afraid, that combined with Harry had unintentionally alienated them from each other and now she was right here, all his and James wanted to touch every inch of her warm skin. Moments later his lips was on hers again this time it’s like they both wanted to breath each other’s airHe let his hand roam free under Lily’s baggy shirt, his pulse rising every time Lily’s back arched. As James was thinking about how brilliant it was to have Lily to himself for once, he heard the all too familiar scream of his son from upstairs.

“For fuck’s sake,” he hissed to his wife’s neck as he slowly pushed himself up. “I got this.”

Lily groaned as James made his way to the stairs. James pushed the door of Harry’s room and took his wand out to see better, if he turned the light on there was no way Harry would go back to sleep, he learned his lesson by now.

“ _Lumos_ ,” he said as he walked to the crib, he took Harry out and held him to his chest as he slowly rocked him to stop his crying. “Fawn, you can’t keep mama and dada from having, uh, _happy times_ all the time buddy.”

Harry wasn’t calming down whatever James did and Lily came bursting through the door with a wary look on her face.

“Is there something wrong?”

“Nope, he is just being his usual  _I’m-a-pain-in-the-ass_ self,” replied James almost shouting over the noise Harry was making. Lily took Harry to her arms as she walked out of his room and went to their room instead.

“Potter, you and your wand here, now,” she yelled from the other room and James couldn’t help but snort.

“Is that an _invitation_ , Evans?”

“Oh, bugger off, James. I need sleep tonight and the fastest way is for you to do whatever you do,” scolded Lily as she put Harry in the middle of their bed. “Unless you can call Sirius and make him babysit Harry as Padfoot?”

“He’s on an Order mission, if he wasn’t I have already dropped Harry off and came back like the wind,” teased James as he lied next to Harry and took his wand out. 

James didn’t know what it was but the smoke that emerged from the tip of his wand always calmed Harry down, it was blue, then purple and pink and blue again. Soon enough the little boy with the exact same hair as James was giggling softly trying to grab the smoke and throwing his legs up as he tried to chew on his own foot. His green eyes were no longer shining from the tears but sparkling with pure joy that a simple spell brought him. 

Lily lied on the other side of Harry and grabbed the small hand of the boy as he wrapped his fingers around her finger, his hands were so chubby he had dimples on them which Lily loved to kiss.

He just watched them as the boy giggled every time his mother buried her face in his belly and felt thankful for everything he had right at that moment. He knew he complained too much sometimes but that was just who he was and he wouldn’t have changed them if they gave him the world and for James Potter that meant something. 


End file.
